His Body, Not His Spirit, Broken In Spill, Espinoza Vows to Return for BC

Wednesday was a big day for Victor Espinoza. For the first time since July 22 he was able to get a haircut, shave and change his clothes. For the jockey who was briefly paralyzed in a training accident at Del Mar, it was a meaningful step forward toward once again living a normal life. He was able to clean up because the doctors removed the neck brace he had been wearing since the spill.

“I looked like I was homeless,” he said. “My hair is so long and so is my beard. With the brace and because I was on a blood thinner, I couldn't shave or cut my hair. I'm excited that I can look normal again. For six weeks, I wore the same thing every day. It's hard to take on and off shirts. I had a short sleeve shirt with buttons and that's it. I wore it every day. Almost two months wearing the same thing and every day I looked in mirror and I looked worse and worse.”

That he was able to make jokes about his looks was another indicator that he is healing not just physically but mentally. He was aboard Bobby Abu Dhabi (Macho Uno) for a morning workout at Del Mar when the horse went down, the result of an apparent heart attack, and his rider was thrown violently to the ground. For some 30 minutes, Espinoza faced what most jockeys fear most–that he was paralyzed.

“When I couldn't move my legs I thought I was paralyzed,” he said. “That was the worst thing. The first thing I could move was my right leg. That was a half hour, maybe 40 minutes after the spill. Think about it, I had 40 minutes to think that I was paralyzed. That 40 minutes felt like one year.

“I'm not scared of dying. If I die I wouldn't feel anything and I'd just be gone. My biggest fear at that moment was that I thought I was paralyzed. It was so bad I can't even think about it. The second thing is that I could have had a stroke. That would have been horrible, too.”

Though Espinoza, 46, was not paralyzed, he was seriously hurt. The jockey suffered a fracture his C-3 vertebrae and would require intensive physical therapy. He was so beaten up by the accident that, initially, he required a 24-hour caregiver to help him with what for most of us are the simplest tasks, like bathing and getting dressed. The stress and the difficulty of his life had become so hard on him that he admits there are times when he would cry.

Now, his biggest problem–and the biggest impediment to his comeback–is his left hand. The doctors also want to see some continued healing of his neck.

“Sometimes, my left hand is very sensitive,” he said. “That's been one of the biggest problems since the beginning. When I fell off the horse, I could not move my left hand at all. I couldn't move my fingers either. It's recovering but is still a little weak. At times it is very sensitive. I can't even grab anything. It is weird. I never had an experience in my life going through something like this. This accident was a very serious accident.”

When Espinoza met with his doctors Wednesday, they told him they wanted to continue to see him regularly for another month before they are able to make any predictions about his riding future. Not only have they not told him when he will be ready to ride again, they have yet to guarantee that he can resume his career.

But Espinoza is confident he will ride again. He knows his body, he sees how much progress he has made since the spill and he believes his will is so strong that it can overcome any physical problems he might have.

“Now that I'm recovering and I can walk, I feel like I'm the luckiest guy,” he said. “I'm walking, I'm laughing, I'm talking to you. I feel like I won the Triple Crown all over again.”

He has good reason for wanting to return for the Breeders' Cup. Before the spill he was the regular rider of Accelerate (Lookin at Lucky), currently the ante-post favorite for the GI Breeders' Cup Classic. Espinoza rode Accelerate to victory in the GI Gold Cup at Santa Anita, but missed the GI Pacific Classic due to the injury. Joel Rosario picked up the mount. Accelerate will prep for the Classic in the Sept. 29 GI Awesome Again S. at Santa Anita, a race Espinoza has already told trainer John Sadler he will not be able to make.

When asked who he would ride if Espinoza were ready for the Breeders' Cup, trainer John Sadler said, “All I'm focused on right now is the Awesome Again. To be honest, I haven't even begun to think about the Classic yet.”

“How long will I be out? I don't know, it will be up to my body,” Espinoza said. “I believe my body is capable of doing it. I will train even harder than I did before to be 100% fit and be a champion again, I won't come back half way.”

In the seven some weeks since he's been injured, he's had plenty of time to think about his life and his future, how he worked so hard to become a jockey and drove a bus in his native Mexico to pay the tuition for jockey school. He has won dozens of important races, most notably his sweep of the 2015 Triple Crown aboard American Pharoah (Pioneerof the Nile). But he now understands none of those accomplishments mean anything if you don't have your health. Yes, he wants to ride in the Breeders' Cup, but more than anything else he just wants to have a normal life again. He's getting there.